How Christ-Centered Love Is What A Marriage Needs
Another Wedding Homily
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Ollie and Olga lived on a secluded farm. Olga felt deprived of love and affection from her husband. Ollie never seemed to show Olga that he really loved her. Finally, after years of a frustrating marriage, Olga blurted out, “Ollie, why don’t you ever tell me that you love me?” Ollie stoically responded, “Olga, when we first got married, I told you that I loved you, and if I ever changed my mind that I would let you know.”
Unfortunately, not every married couple is the best at giving each other regular reminders of their love for each other. And this is why it is important to frequently come back to the Bible to where it talks about what true love is.
Often time today, when we hear this text we think about a wedding ceremony. But, that is not what this text is first and foremost about. Rather, it was for a selfish church that seemed to have more problems than the Sun has light. If you were to read the two letters to the Corinthians, you would hear about how awful their church life was. Here is a summary list: They were abusing spiritual gifts, using their Christian freedom for wild living, social injustice, incest and certainly a “hook up culture”, greediness & poverty with a lack of giving, church members suing each other, distraction from the gospel to pursue worldly teachings and ideologies, drunkenness, judgmentalism, homosexuality, lack of biblical masculinity, poor leadership, people sleeping with prostitutes, rejection of biblical roles of marriage, unbiblical divorce cases, failure to care for singles and widows, people dressing in such a way that was immodest even to the public, drunkenness at the Lord’s Supper!, admittance of people to the Supper who shouldn’t be admitted, trying to speak in tongues that had no biblical truth attached to it, finger-pointing, slander, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions & division, gossip, arrogance and disorder; it was so bad that it caused Paul great pain and grief even when he was far away; People were rejecting Paul and his teaching, false teachers had crept in teaching that Jesus wasn’t enough, and even rejection of bodily resurrection.
Ok. This sounds like a pretty bad situation! Right? This is probably not what y’all thought this wedding sermon was going to be about. But, here is the question: If you were the pastor of that church, what would you tell them is one of the most needed ingredients for their church to become a healthy church? Or, what would you say would be the most needed ingredient for a marriage that is about to fall apart?
Paul says, “You can have every spiritual gift in Christianity, every great opportunity to be an influential church, and every important Christian in your church…but if you don’t have love then you gain nothing.” So, what’s the answer? Love! Love is the answer! And you know what? The Beatles would agree! After all, one of their more famous songs says, “All you need is love. Love is all you need.” And this is what our world says today as well. “Yes! Love is the answer!”
But, the real question is: What does Paul mean by love? He describes it in our text here. Let me re-word this text for us. As I re-word this, I don’t just want you to think about how you are supposed to love each other. I also want you to hear how Jesus loves you! “Love is not trigger-happy with anger, frustration, or passive-aggressive comments. Love isn’t obsessed with score-keeping. Love hates sin but love is slow to bring justice to sin for the preference of showing forgiveness. Love embraces someone even when they don’t deserve it. Love is not bitter whenever your spouse has opportunities in life that you don’t have. Love does not choose a spouse to selfishly gain status for oneself. Love does not live in insecurity by trying to prove their own importance. Love does not act like it is above being corrected. Love seeks to show courtesy at all times. Love is not egocentric, self-obsessed, or billboarding one’s importance before others. True love genuinely desires to love someone else even if it costs them everything. Love isn’t preoccupied with oneself and demanding their spouse to get on their schedule. Love doesn’t hold grudges when they are sinned against but rather is more eager to bestow forgiveness. Love doesn’t go on a sin-hunt with the other person but desires to go on a grace-hunt. Love does not celebrate immorality or anything that is contrary to Scripture. Love does not endorse sin or sinful lifestyles. Rather, love takes great pleasure in God’s truth known and embraced. True love seeks to point others to God and God’s truth. Truth without love is brutality. Love without truth is hypocrisy. Love is not temporary. True love is not for a season of life. True love places itself upon another person and says, “No matter what happens…I am yours!”
Now, look, here is where many pastors might end. They might end by saying, “You better go and love people better!” But, that is not the gospel. The only possible way for us to grow in loving others in this way is if we see the God who is love. Particularly, we must see how Jesus reveals to us the God of love.
When Paul is telling the Corinthians that they need “love” he is talking about how they must fix their eyes constantly on the only One who loves people in this way. But, to be sure, Jesus is not merely an example to follow. Rather, when the two of you keep your faith fixed on Jesus then the Holy Spirit will transform you into His image.
So, you realize what this means, right? You cannot expect to have a truly healthy marriage if you take your eyes off the Jesus of the Bible. In today’s world, people are demanding us to “love” them in one way. But, the Bible defines love in the real way–and that is only seen if you truly see Jesus. If you have one goal, make it one where you individually and collectively drink deeply from the everlasting fountain of the glory of Christ. It is Christ who loves you despite your sin. It is Christ who loves you even when you deserve the opposite. It is Christ who loves you with an unfailing love. And it is Christ who loves you so much that He would take the wrath of God for you in order for you to be saved. Every day, from now on, help each other to bring all your sins to this Jesus and look to Him in faith at the love that He loves you with.