A Guide To Discovering Types of Anxious Thoughts & Recovering From Such Thoughts
Types of Anxious/DespairingThoughts1:
You are in a season of evaluating your life in extreme versions of either black or white; there are no shades of gray. (Ex: You have one sinful thought during church or private devotions and you think you’ve never been a believer.)
You think that because one bad thing happened in the past that the same thing or type of thing will happen to you again and again throughout your life. (Ex: If you’ve been rejected on a date once then you think you’re bound to only have that experience in the future.)
You focus only or mainly on the negative in every situation and isolate that thought from everything else good, enjoyable, or hopeful. You go on a sin-hunt with everything and everyone. (Ex: When hearing a sermon, you only hold onto the bad news and fail to also meditate on the good news that was preached in the same sermon.)
You tend to think about any experience you go through (however good and enjoyable) and turn it into a negative experience. (Ex: You are genuinely fighting your sin, growing in putting off the practice of it, and growing in pursuing godliness. But, you begin thinking that there might not be “enough” repentance and therefore you must not be repentant at all.)
You think you know what someone else is thinking about you even though you have no legitimate evidence of that. (Ex: When you’re walking to class you see someone you know but they hardly say “hey”. You wonder if you did something wrong that you aren’t aware of. When, in reality, they have their own concerns weighing heavily upon them which makes them more focused on that rather than who is walking past them at that moment.)
You develop a pattern of thinking where you feel like the “what ifs” are inevitable. Your thought life lives in “what if” land and you begin to mentally/emotionally go through the experience of the “what ifs” as you play them out in your mind. (Ex: You begin wondering if there is some secret sin in your past that you’re unaware of and haven’t confessed to the Lord. As a result, you constantly replay your past to see if there is something you’ve forgotten. This leads to thinking that God must be angry with you until you find out what that “thing” is and make up for it.)
You put your fears, sins, errors, foolish moments in a magnifying glass. You begin to mentally blow things out of proportion. (Ex: Despite hearing about the forgiveness of all your sins in the gospel of grace, you focus exclusively on your past sins in a way that leads to continued trembling, ungodly fear, self-condemnation, and fear of God’s wrath.)
You think that whatever emotional state you’re in at the moment (for better or for worse) is the truth of a situation. You let your feelings determine the facts. (Ex: If you don’t “feel” the power of the gospel during the worship service then you think that it might not be true or that you must not be maturing in your faith. OR, when you “feel” unforgiven then you conclude that you’re definitely not forgiven [regardless of what God’s Word and wise believers say].)
You view your life primarily in “shoulds” and “oughts”. You are constantly putting pressure on yourself to be better, do more, or complete enough tasks. (Ex: You think that the Christian life is far more about doing more activities rather than attending the means of grace and learning to rest your faith in Christ and live in obedience from the power of His grace.)
You wrongly assume responsibility for everything that goes wrong in your life. Everything is your fault. This is different from the correct biblical way of seeing your sin. This is the idea that you take responsibility for sins that aren’t yours. (Ex: While it is true that you could’ve been a better example in your fraternity/sorority about what it looks like to be a Christian, you go on to wrongly conclude that you’re the reason for their drunkenness or their hooking up. OR, you are in a conversation with someone when you lovingly speak the truth to them and show them their sin. They respond by trying to make you feel bad because of making them feel bad [i.e. “gas lighting”]. You begin thinking that it was a sin for you to lovingly tell them about their sin.)
How To Fight2:
Is the thought true? (Disqualifications: Half-truths, exaggerations, lack of evidence, empty speculations, unbiblical statements, going beyond Scripture, etc.)
Is the thought helpful? (Disqualifications: If it can wait until later to think about it; anything that discourages you from resting fully upon Christ; ignoring obvious sin; too much bad news; hindrances to being amazed at the grace of the gospel.)
Is the thought appropriate to your situation? (Disqualifications: While it may be true, is it fitting to your season of life? Am I dwelling on “what if” sins so much that I’m neglecting what I actually need to repent of? Is the thought taking away from honoring God in the moment you’re in?)
Is the thought complete? (Disqualifications: Are you telling yourself about sin and about Christ’s atonement? Are you telling yourself about God’s Law [which is necessary] and about His empowering grace to obey? Are you telling yourself the truth about a hard season of life and about the promises of God?)
Recommended Resources:
A Still and Quiet Mind by Esther Smith
Rejoice and Tremble by Michael Reeves
Counseling Under the Cross by Bob Kellemen
Summarized in my own words from David Murray’s Christians Get Depressed Too (along with my own examples).
Taken from Esther Smith’s A Still and Quiet Mind (along with my application).