You Might Think I'm Judgmental. But, What If I'm Right?
A slightly arrogant blog post title about a not-so-slight problem.
For those who like sarcasm, laughing at oneself, and some odd commentary then I provided some footnotes for humor relief.
I don’t want to sound judgmental when I say this.1
There are times when it is hard to state a truth without coming across as judgmental. In what I’m about to say, the hard part isn’t stating the truth but stating a truth so true that it will inevitably sound judgmental regardless of how you state it.
Here it is:
It is a sad day when people expect you to be on your phone rather than in a book.
My Experience
While sitting in the doctor’s office I was reading Mari Swingle’s book i-Minds: How and Why Constant Connectivity is Rewiring our Brains and What to Do About It.2 And while I was reading I didn’t have my phone out.3 At a quick glance, one could tell this was the clear difference between me and the other two patients in the waiting room.
After a pleasant 10 minutes of waiting and reading, I was finally called back by one of the nurses. She started out with the usual by asking me how my day was and taking my blood pressure. It was probably her fourth or fifth question when she addressed my semi-large green and black book.
To my discouragement—yet not surprise—she asked, “Oh, are you studying for something?”4
To be fair: The book does not look like a novel. Matter of fact, based on the picture below, the book does kind of look like one that could be for class reading.
My immediate thought was slight annoyance because I have heard this before. I was reading this book for my own personal growth and joy. But, I thought, “I’m in a college town so that’s a fair question considering the context. Plus, she’s being nice and starting a conversation.”
But then came after the appointment.
As I went to check out at the counter, the man taking my payment also saw the book. He said, “That must be a really good book. I saw you over there reading it earlier and you seemed very into it.” The implication was quite obvious in that the book must be really good because I couldn’t even pick up my phone.
Once again, to be fair, that’s not a bad statement in itself. It’s true: If a book is good then one probably sustains their focus on that book. But, the part that gets me isn’t that the book is good—which it is—but that no one else was reading. It got under my skin because they thought it “odd” that I was reading a book when I could’ve just been on my phone.5
Not My First Time
I have heard these statements numerous times when I’ve taken a book in public. Most of the time I have people ask if I’m a student. That might be because when I’ve shaved I look like a freshman in college. Nevertheless…
Only one has asked me if I was a pastor but that was fairly obvious based on the fact that the book I had at the moment was clearly a Christian book.
Again, let me be fair. (Maybe third time will be the charm for my pessimism.) These other people in the waiting room might have been reading blogs—and probably much better blogs than this one. They might have been in a very necessary conversation. It could have even been a small emergency. They might have been reading their Bible!
But, that’s not the part that concerns me. The part that concerns me are the comments I received about having a book and reading a book in contrast to those who were on their phones the whole time.
Book Readers: The New Law Breakers
Aren’t these statements very telling? Isn’t it sad that the only people who are expected to be lost in a book are students and (maybe) pastors?6 Can one not just read a book just to read a book? I mean, even children these days don’t carry books with them but they’ll lose themselves in an iPad.7
Interestingly, I have even been in situations where I have gotten in semi-trouble for reading a book rather than simply being on my phone.
Picture this:
The room is filled with people looking at their personal screens while another bigger screen is on. Lots of sounds. Lots of lights. There are some conversations happening but none that are sustained over time. No one is treated as being rude because they are on there phone. It is expected to talk to someone while you look at the top of their head while they look at the screen in their hands.
But, then comes the man or woman in the room who is reading a book. Lord, forbid! They are seen at best as the oddball and at worst the rude one and condemned for breaking the unwritten rule: “Thou shalt not read a book. Or, at least not an actual physical book. Just do it on your phone if you’re going to read a book.”
Why does this slightly feel like something out of 1984? Yet, we live in a world where many people think it is rude to be lost in a good book rather than staring at one’s phone looking at vaporous videos.
Enter The Bible: What Is The Good Life?
There are plenty of essays and books I could point you to where the reading life is persuasively argued to be “the good life”.8 Christians—who are supposed to be “the people of The Book”—have recently appeared to have forgotten the biblical encouragements to read.
“As for these four youths, God gave them learning and skill in all literature and wisdom, and Daniel had understanding in all visions and dreams.” — Daniel 1:17
“They read from the book, from the Law of God, clearly, and they gave the sense, so that the people understood the reading.” — Nehemiah 8:8
“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” — Joshua 1:8
“Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.” — Acts 17:11
“When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, also the books, and above all the parchments.” — 2 Timothy 4:13
Psalm 119 — all of it.
The Bible — because it’s a book that is always bidding us to read it.
Unfortunately, it appears as if Christians have taken Ecclesiastes 12:12 and twisted it. It says, “Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.” But, we have now treated it as if it said, “Of making many books there is…a weariness of the flesh.” It’s not “many books” we’re afraid of. It’s just books—or just a book.
Our problem is not that we can’t read. It’s that we don’t read. It’s tiresome to pick up a book. We’re very comfortable spending at least two hours a day on social media working out our thumbs on the “phone treadmill”.9 And even though this has proven to only make us more exhausted we still don’t change up our lifestyle.10
Functionally, we are like the men in Isaiah 29:11-12, “When men give it to one who can read, saying, ‘Read this,’ he says, ‘I cannot, for it is sealed.’ And when they give the book to one who cannot read, saying, ‘Read this,’ he says, ‘I cannot read.’”
Some of us are like those who can read but when given a book we say, “I cannot, for it is sealed.”11 Others are like those who can’t read and say, “I cannot read.” The irony is that most often both groups of people can read. The problem today is not that we can’t read but that we don’t and won’t read.
It is tragedy to society and a detriment to the Christian life that we don’t read. This goes first and foremost for the Bible, second for reading classic Christians books, third for reading other rich modern Christian books, and fourthly for just reading good books of any kind.
What Do We Do Now?
If this blog post hasn’t been the best melatonin for your bedtime routine12 then maybe you’d like some suggestions for how to move forward. After all, it’s one thing to state the problem but another thing to plot a way forward. The first two will be negative and the last three will be positive.
We need to set legitimate rules with our phones. They do not control you. Dear Christians, stand in your freedom (even the freedom to not live in bondage to your technology). This will differ for each individual so there is no use in me telling you the details. Rather, apply the principle.
Limit your social media time to: 1) No less than what you need it for but, 2) only up to the point right before you begin to lose your productivity or your sanity for the day. For some that might mean no social media apps on the phone or only 5 minutes allowed. For others, they might need it for an aspect of work. But, if social media begins to negatively affect your state of mind, your worldview, your ethics, or your productivity then you need to set legitimate rules. If you don’t tame your phone it will tame you.
Just because someone texts or emails you doesn’t mean you must respond to them immediately. Do you know that people used to write letters to each other? They used to take time to thoughtfully reflect. Maybe that’s why John Newton’s or Samuel Rutherford’s or Martin Luther’s were so rich. The same is true for email. If you find yourself regularly dipping in and out of conversations to check your phone every time you receive a notification then it’s time to set some boundaries. If it makes you feel better, tell your phone: “It’s not you. It’s me.”
Limit your television use. If our entertainment is taking us away from others into isolation then we need to rethink our usage of it (i.e. picture the young teenager who wants to “do homework” in their room while watching their favorite show). But, maybe we’re watching TV with others yet we’re watching so much that we neglect our walk with Christ (reading the Bible, meditation upon Scripture, prayer, self-examination, going to church Sunday morning and evening, etc.) and we’re neglecting our necessary duties around the house. If our marriages become tense because we feel deprived from watching our TV shows or football teams then we probably need to take some time to reflect. If Jesus is getting less time on the Sabbath Day than NFL and cheese dip then it’s time to examine yourself.
Find the best books to read. There are many good books and we ought to read those books. But, if you’re looking for stoking the fires of your intellect and heart then read the best books. I remember when I finally picked up Harry Potter and started to read it and probably went on to use too many sermon illustrations from it. I remember staying up late at night gripped by Robert O’Neill’s autobiography The Operator as he walked up to the third floor in Abbottabad. I remember reading Martin Luther’s commentary on Galatians and thinking I have just been born again again.13 The principle is to find the best books. For Christian books, I’ve compiled a recommended reading list on our church’s website.
Get into a reading group. Find a group of men or women and pick a book and read it. Start easy. Or, plunge into something incredible. Just pick something and do it. Get together and discuss it. And yes, sometimes it’s really fun to have the group leader be someone really solid in their theology while you read a classic Christian book yet one that needs theological interaction at points (think works like Dante’s Inferno, John of Damascus’s On the Orthodox Faith, or Martyn Lloyd-Jones’s Joy Unspeakable). There are times to choose works where you can completely let your guard down and others where you need to be challenged yet not become a heretic.
Read a book to your children. Don’t let the TV or phone be the last word for them at night. Pick up a book and read it to them! Maybe they’re getting a little too old but maybe not. Maybe the art of listening is a skill that needs to be revived. Aren’t we constantly complaining about the short attention spans people have? Maybe that’s why I’m the only one who has read this sentence that I’m writing? Well, we ought not to only complain about it. We ought to do something about it. “Ah, dad!” I can hear our teenager children grumbling like the hungry Israelites in the wilderness. But, maybe you can start small with a 2-3 minute session of family worship where you read the Bible, pray the Bible, and discuss the Bible.
I’m so tempted to also say, “And isn’t that exactly why young pastors have blogs?” But, just in case someone might not pick up on me laughing at myself, I’ll just leave this in a footnote. It is true that too many—myself included—think that just because we have access to a blog or social media that people must listen to what we have to say. I have that heart at times. But, on my most holy days (hopefully you’re catching the appropriate sarcasm) I mainly use the blog for my own overflow and to be an aid for someone looking to take just one step forward in the Christian life. I’m no Sinclair Ferguson or J.I. Packer. I’m happy to be a “tinker” blogger that might be a little help to local Christians.
Yes, I thoroughly recognize the irony of me writing a blog post about the importance of reading and recommending a book on how too much technology use is greatly hurting us all the while I’m expecting you to read this when you’re most likely on your phone.
More sarcasm: “I know. I know. I’m a modern day hero. Thank you Lord that I am not like those phone addicts who are so worldly. I read a book a day. I post all my readings on Good Reads…” This is worth joking about because we actually can become legitimately judgmental in this area. If God has worked in our hearts (through common grace or sanctifying grace) to not be so hooked to our phones then we need to humbly acknowledge that it is only by His grace.
I was hoping she might say, “You must be one of those ‘Honor Students’ that these bumper stickers keep talking about. Can I have your autograph?” And I would say, “So sorry ma’am. I’ve heard that there are dogs out there who are smarter than me. You might want to get their autograph first.”
I feel like Will Ferrell in the classic SNL scene where he is impersonating a dad at the dinner table trying to prove his worth by repeating to his wife and daughter, “I drive a Dodge Stratus!”
On a slightly serious note, unfortunately it seems that even for some young Presbyterian and Reformed pastors, I am hearing less and less about people reading books other than the commentaries they must half-heartedly look at during their sermon prep.
[Insert G.K. Chesterton’s famous response to the newspaper answering to the question about what is the problem with the world: “Sir, I am.”] I am certainly one of those parents at times when younger me would’ve looked at this parenting and said, “I won’t be like one of those parents who quickly hand their kids a phone or tablet.” Then, I came across moments when my child lays limp on the floor in the doctor’s office crying for candy.
Let me tell you something: The amount of times I talk about the doctor’s office in this post! If this was on your bingo card then you’ve had a good day.
See these works: On Reading by C.S. Lewis, “On Fairy Stories” by J.R.R. Tolkien, On Reading Well by Karen Swallow Prior, How To Read A Book by Mortimer Adler, The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease, The Christian Imagination by Leland Ryken, Recovering the Lost Art of Reading by Leland Ryken.
If one dares, just pick up that semi-large copy of Mari Swingle i-Minds and you’ll see her prove this point.
“But, if you want to ask me a question about The Office then just let me know how much time you have.” Once again, guilty as charged.
Don’t worry, I know my worth as a writer. It’s barely sufficient to get the point across and probably too long based on the sub-par writing quality. Hey, I won’t be upset if this helps you go to sleep. Just don’t read it while at work—or the doctor’s office because they might think something is wrong with you.
I say this in experiential language rather than literal theological language. Once you’re born again, you’re always alive in Christ.